Post by sweetpea on Mar 10, 2018 17:32:26 GMT
An out of work actor gets a call from his agent one day.
"I've got you a job" says the agent.
"That's great!" says the actor "What is it?"
"Well" says the agent "it's a one-liner"
"That's okay" replies the actor "I've been out of work for so long I'll take anything. What's the line?"
"Hark I hear the cannons roar" says the agent.
"Hark I hear the cannons roar?" the actor questions.
"Yes, Hark I hear the cannons roar" confirms the agent.
"I love it" says the actor "When's the audition?"
"Wednesday" says the agent.
Wednesday comes and the actor arrives at the audition.
He marches on stage and shouts: "Hark I hear the cannons roar!"
"Brilliant" says the director "
You've got the job. Be here 9 o'clock tomorrow evening".
The actor is so ecstatic he got the job that he leaves and heads straight to his favourite pub and goes on a major bender.
One thing leads to another and next thing he knows its 8.30pm the next night - half an hour until show time!
He runs to the theatre continually repeating his line: "Hark I hear the cannons roar! Hark I hear the cannons roar! Hark I hear the cannons roar!"
He arrives at the stage entrance, out of breath and is stopped by a production assistant.
"Who the hell are you?" asks the assistant.
"I'm 'Hark I hear the cannons roar'"
"You're 'Hark I hear the cannons roar'?"
"Yes, I'm 'Hark I hear the cannons roar'"
"You're late! Get up to makeup straight away!"
So he runs up to makeup continually repeating his line: "Hark I hear the cannons roar! Hark I hear the cannons roar! Hark I hear the cannons roar".
"Who the hell are you?" asks the makeup girl.
"I'm 'Hark I hear the cannons roar'" "
You're 'Hark I hear the cannons roar'?"
"Yes, I'm 'Hark I hear the cannons roar'"
"You're late! Sit down here" and she quickly begins applying the makeup.
"Now quick! Get down to the stage, you're about to go on!"
So he dashes down to the stage continually repeating his line: "Hark I hear the cannons roar! Hark I hear the cannons roar! Hark I hear the cannons roar".
"Who the hell are you?" asks the stage manager.
"I'm 'Hark I hear the cannons roar'"
"You're 'Hark I hear the cannons roar'?"
"Yes, I'm 'Hark I hear the cannons roar'"
"Get on there! The curtains about to go up!"
So he tears onto the stage.
The curtains rise, the house is full.
Suddenly from behind him comes an almighty. BANG!
The actor shouts "HOLY CARP!! WHAT THE ***k WAS THAT!!"
"I've got you a job" says the agent.
"That's great!" says the actor "What is it?"
"Well" says the agent "it's a one-liner"
"That's okay" replies the actor "I've been out of work for so long I'll take anything. What's the line?"
"Hark I hear the cannons roar" says the agent.
"Hark I hear the cannons roar?" the actor questions.
"Yes, Hark I hear the cannons roar" confirms the agent.
"I love it" says the actor "When's the audition?"
"Wednesday" says the agent.
Wednesday comes and the actor arrives at the audition.
He marches on stage and shouts: "Hark I hear the cannons roar!"
"Brilliant" says the director "
You've got the job. Be here 9 o'clock tomorrow evening".
The actor is so ecstatic he got the job that he leaves and heads straight to his favourite pub and goes on a major bender.
One thing leads to another and next thing he knows its 8.30pm the next night - half an hour until show time!
He runs to the theatre continually repeating his line: "Hark I hear the cannons roar! Hark I hear the cannons roar! Hark I hear the cannons roar!"
He arrives at the stage entrance, out of breath and is stopped by a production assistant.
"Who the hell are you?" asks the assistant.
"I'm 'Hark I hear the cannons roar'"
"You're 'Hark I hear the cannons roar'?"
"Yes, I'm 'Hark I hear the cannons roar'"
"You're late! Get up to makeup straight away!"
So he runs up to makeup continually repeating his line: "Hark I hear the cannons roar! Hark I hear the cannons roar! Hark I hear the cannons roar".
"Who the hell are you?" asks the makeup girl.
"I'm 'Hark I hear the cannons roar'" "
You're 'Hark I hear the cannons roar'?"
"Yes, I'm 'Hark I hear the cannons roar'"
"You're late! Sit down here" and she quickly begins applying the makeup.
"Now quick! Get down to the stage, you're about to go on!"
So he dashes down to the stage continually repeating his line: "Hark I hear the cannons roar! Hark I hear the cannons roar! Hark I hear the cannons roar".
"Who the hell are you?" asks the stage manager.
"I'm 'Hark I hear the cannons roar'"
"You're 'Hark I hear the cannons roar'?"
"Yes, I'm 'Hark I hear the cannons roar'"
"Get on there! The curtains about to go up!"
So he tears onto the stage.
The curtains rise, the house is full.
Suddenly from behind him comes an almighty. BANG!
The actor shouts "HOLY CARP!! WHAT THE ***k WAS THAT!!"