Post by sweetpea on Jan 25, 2011 13:29:02 GMT
*The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or Changing one letter, and supply a new definition.*
* *
*Here are the winners:*
1.* Cashtration* (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the Subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2.* Ignoranus* : A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
3.* Intaxicaton* : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts
Until you realize it was your money to start with.
4.* Reintarnation* : Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5.* Bozone* ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that
Stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
6.* Foreploy* : Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
7..* Giraffiti* : Vandalism spray-painted very, very high
8.* Sarchasm* : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the Person who doesn't get it.
9.* Inoculatte* : To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10.* Osteopornosis* : A degenerate disease. (This one got extra
credit.)
11.* Karmageddon* : It's like, when everybody is sending off all
these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
12.* Decafalon* (n.): The grueling event of getting through the
day consuming only things that are good for you.
13.* Glibido* : All talk and no action.
14.* Dopeler Effect*: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter
When they come at you rapidly.
15.* Arachnoleptic Fit* (n.): The frantic dance performed just after
you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
16.* Beelzebug* (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into Your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
17.* Caterpallor* ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm In the fruit you're eating.
*The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to Its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.
And the winners are:*
1.* Coffee*, n. The person upon whom one coughs.
2.* Flabbergasted*, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one
has gained.
3. *Abdicate*, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. *Esplanade*, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.
5.* Willy-nilly*, adj. Impotent.
6.* Negligent*, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
7.* Lymph*, v. To walk with a lisp.
8.* Gargoyle*, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.
9.* Flatulence*, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has Been run over by a steamroller.
10.* Balderdash*, n. A rapidly receding hairline.
11.* Testicle*, n. A humorous question on an exam.
12.* Rectitude*, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted
by proctologists.
13.* Pokemon*, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.
14.* **Oyster*, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with
Yiddishisms.
15.* **Frisbeetarianism*, n. The belief that, after death, the soul
flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16.* **Circumvent*, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn By Jewish men.
Mensa
* *
*Here are the winners:*
1.* Cashtration* (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the Subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2.* Ignoranus* : A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
3.* Intaxicaton* : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts
Until you realize it was your money to start with.
4.* Reintarnation* : Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5.* Bozone* ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that
Stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
6.* Foreploy* : Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
7..* Giraffiti* : Vandalism spray-painted very, very high
8.* Sarchasm* : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the Person who doesn't get it.
9.* Inoculatte* : To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10.* Osteopornosis* : A degenerate disease. (This one got extra
credit.)
11.* Karmageddon* : It's like, when everybody is sending off all
these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
12.* Decafalon* (n.): The grueling event of getting through the
day consuming only things that are good for you.
13.* Glibido* : All talk and no action.
14.* Dopeler Effect*: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter
When they come at you rapidly.
15.* Arachnoleptic Fit* (n.): The frantic dance performed just after
you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
16.* Beelzebug* (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into Your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
17.* Caterpallor* ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm In the fruit you're eating.
*The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to Its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.
And the winners are:*
1.* Coffee*, n. The person upon whom one coughs.
2.* Flabbergasted*, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one
has gained.
3. *Abdicate*, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. *Esplanade*, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.
5.* Willy-nilly*, adj. Impotent.
6.* Negligent*, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
7.* Lymph*, v. To walk with a lisp.
8.* Gargoyle*, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.
9.* Flatulence*, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has Been run over by a steamroller.
10.* Balderdash*, n. A rapidly receding hairline.
11.* Testicle*, n. A humorous question on an exam.
12.* Rectitude*, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted
by proctologists.
13.* Pokemon*, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.
14.* **Oyster*, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with
Yiddishisms.
15.* **Frisbeetarianism*, n. The belief that, after death, the soul
flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16.* **Circumvent*, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn By Jewish men.
Mensa