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Post by SueA on Sept 22, 2024 19:08:40 GMT
Glad that at least the bike issue is sorted for your daughter geumgrower, hopefully it won't take too long for the PM & your daughter will know what happened & be able to process that & think about the funeral. |
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Post by Cherry on Sept 23, 2024 7:50:44 GMT
Eli Christmas has arrived in Elgin too. Decora, a ‘department store’ type shop has given a large part to Christmas decorations.
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Post by balc2 on Sept 24, 2024 16:18:35 GMT
Cherry, Christmas has arrived late where you live then! Christmas stuff has been on sale here for over a month!
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Post by Eli on Sept 25, 2024 7:52:38 GMT
Well I'm fed up with this modern version of Christmas already, they've been talking in our art group about where to go for their Christmas dinner. When I said I didn't enjoy social events I had some disapproving looks from around the room so I suppose I'll have to go. Apparently I am now part of their 'family' 
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Post by balc2 on Sept 25, 2024 16:20:29 GMT
I fully understand how you feel, Eli , about the modern version of 'Christmas'! I don't like all the commercialism that surrounds it either, but then the same goes for Halloween & Easter as well! It's not that I'm antisocial I'm more like asocial. I don't care much for celebrations, I feel better when I'm almost alone - 2,3 or 4 people is sufficient for me most of the time!
All my life I've felt like I'm just on the periphery of big groups, that somehow I don't belong, that I'm invisible. I've always found it very difficult to "make small talk". I've always felt happy in my own company for the most part. There are exceptions of course or I wouldn't have married my wife & we wouldn't have lived together 50 years!  In fact I felt more at ease with the Spanish cousins of my wife's than even with my own brothers & sisters!
Out of curiosity I did an online search for 'asocial', to make sure I use the right term to express myself & how I feel. Well, I found an interesting article that I'm going to link to here, but I found the description of an asocial person to fit me almost to a 'T'.
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Post by Eli on Sept 25, 2024 21:19:33 GMT
Thanks for the link balc2 , after reading that article I think the description also fits me to a 'T'
I always knew I was an introvert, but I'd never heard the term 'asocial' until now, and it seems I am that too.
Beryl was the same (but a bit more extreme than me) and I believe that's why we stayed together for so many years, we understood each other.
Actually though, unlike you, it was Beryl who got on better with my relations than her own. She never wanted to see those but was always at ease in the company of my family.
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Post by balc2 on Sept 26, 2024 5:23:43 GMT
I thought it would fit you as well! We seem to share many characteristics! I have thought of myself as being "asocial" for a great many years but until now I had never checked in a dictionary to see if I had the right definition.
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Post by seaburn on Sept 26, 2024 14:15:32 GMT
can I just say you are not alone lads in feeling 'forced/or the odd one out'. Try being the only female in a motorbike group of about 40 60+ year old fellas. The assumption is that I am around to take the teacups back to the cafe counter as I cant possibly know anything about bikes/engines etc. Some are now aware that I have a motorbike licence and can strip and rebuild said engines; and they still have their knee caps in place. Hubby often just sits back and watches as the others are disabused of their prejudices. He does speak up for me when some get a bit too patronising and he feels they have over stepped the mark. My main complaint really is when we are out on a long run they will stop at a hedgerow for a comfort stop and forget about me and my needs. Haha. just out of interest the prefix a as in asocial means 'without' eg aseptic without sepsis, anti means 'the opposite/against' eg antiseptic against sepsis. so antisocial means you don't want your actions to be social so unpleasant to others. Isn't language great!  |
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Post by Eli on Sept 26, 2024 18:41:15 GMT
It isn't to do with being the odd one out. It's to do with groups/crowds (whoever they are) draining my energy away.
Even in the art group I'm usually glad when its time to leave. Sometimes I only stay for half the time because just being with people for an hour or two makes me feel drained. And after I get home I have to just sit quietly for a while, to settle myself again.
I've always been like that even as a child - being with people isn't something I can cope with very well.
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Post by seaburn on Sept 26, 2024 21:55:02 GMT
sorry I misunderstood what you said Hywel. It is very tiring and I do understand why you relish the solitude.
It would be awful if we were all the same.
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Post by balc2 on Sept 27, 2024 5:13:58 GMT
Thanks for chipping in seaburn and thanks for the explanation of the "a" prefix! It must be quite difficult for you to be the only female in a group of males! I didn't know the group was so big! You've often spoken of going out on motorbike rides with your husband but I think this is the first time you've mentioned the size of the group! |
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Post by Eli on Sept 27, 2024 6:01:10 GMT
Those bikers would probably think I'm not a real man, I know nothing about engines and bikes. They seem rather an arrogant lot to me. I'm glad you can bring them down a few pegs Eileen.
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Post by balc2 on Sept 27, 2024 20:04:58 GMT
Like you, Eli, I haven't a clue about mechanical things! |
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Post by grindle on Sept 28, 2024 2:26:31 GMT
was trying to work out how long I've been with this forum, turns out Jan 2011 was when I registered, was that when we moved from the Garden Answers forum anyone know ?
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Post by steve on Sept 28, 2024 7:16:17 GMT
It must have been Grindle, looked at mine your and Sue’s and they were all in Jan 2011 after Garden Answers had said they were closing theirs down 👍
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In fact I felt more at ease with the Spanish cousins of my wife's than even with my own brothers & sisters! 
