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Post by piskie on Jan 30, 2011 20:58:10 GMT
Today I have spent time clearing out my Mum's house - it is a very odd feeling and somewhat disorientating in the scheme of things to realise that you will never see your Mum again.
But it did make me so grateful for two superb brothers and one slightly not so helpful sister - but that's a long story.
Mum's funeral is 9th Feb, I will be sad but grateful for the fact that she decided to shuffle off this coil so quickly and thereby not suffer to the hideous cancer too long.
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Post by Lou78W on Jan 30, 2011 21:00:12 GMT
Thats the one blessing Piskie.....that she didn't suffer too much for too long. I remember clearing my Mum's house with my two sisters.....Yes...it was a strange feeling....we sort of felt guilty moving their stuff  |
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Post by Geranium on Jan 30, 2011 22:07:55 GMT
I had to do my Mum's flat with OH. My sister wouldn't (or couldn't) come and help. That made it very difficult to decide what to do with certain items. I do feel for you - it's a hard job, and can be an emotional experience.  |
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Post by steve on Jan 30, 2011 23:50:07 GMT
The most heart rending thing is the items they kept that meant something to them
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Post by merlin on Jan 31, 2011 6:31:16 GMT
Without trying to sound like a Vicar, it's good to celebrate her life. A time to talk of all the fond memories and arrange an appropriate eulogie if possible. As for the household stuff, it's easy to fall out while still very upset but your siblings are now closer because of your loss so it's best to look at things for the long term. I was lucky as my Mum wrote everything in her diary. In the event I had no room for anything so I ended up with all photographs and old family documents.
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Post by Cherry on Jan 31, 2011 7:28:06 GMT
You will feel so much better after the funeral. I think you are doing very very well. This is especially evident in that you are putting a positive slant on this whole episode, by noting that the illness was not too long.
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Post by piskie on Jan 31, 2011 8:12:13 GMT
Thanks all. Whilst clearing much of her possesions we found time to laugh over memories such as an exploing stuffed marrow that Mum made when I was little - I fear my brother may write that into her Order of Service and that is fine  |
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Post by Cherry on Jan 31, 2011 8:20:35 GMT
She had a sense of fun! Exploding marrow?
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Post by wildlifefriendly on Jan 31, 2011 8:23:22 GMT
It's good to hear you are laughing too |
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Post by piskie on Jan 31, 2011 8:26:24 GMT
My Dad was an excellent gardener, he had two allotments and a large back garden - we were pretty much self sufficient in fruit and veg all my gowing-up years. He brought home a marrow one day, Mum hadn't ever cooked with one and didn't know where to start - but gamely she cracked on and (over!) stuffed it and put it in the oven to bake, but bake for too long and too hot and it went BANG! Dad and us kids laughed so much ;D Mum was not asmused at all - until later |
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Post by Rosie on Jan 31, 2011 13:16:13 GMT
Your Mum may be gone but you always have your memories Piskie.
I remember my mam putting her hand through a window on one Friday 13th trying to catch a bee and get it outside. Luckily she had a towel around her hand so she didn't get cut.
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Post by esther on Jan 31, 2011 15:59:19 GMT
I found clearing Mum and Dad's flat out one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. My Sister and I did it together and a few days later we sat, with our brother, with all Mum and Dad's photos on the floor of the sitting room and chose some each until they were all gone The vicar called while we were doing this and sat on the floor with us having a cuppa Our Vicar is known as Nick the Vic I am pleased your Mum didn't have to suffer for a long time Piskie- I hope the funeral goes well. You have all those wonderful memories of your Mum and they will never leave you. |
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Post by sweetpea on Jan 31, 2011 16:13:16 GMT
I think many of us here have been in that particular boat Piskie and can empathise with you. I know I certainly have although in my case it was my MIL. My own mother was in Australia when she passed away and I couldn't afford to go there.  I hope you feel more back to normal soon although everyone is different. |
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Post by wildlifefriendly on Jan 31, 2011 16:19:30 GMT
My Dad was an excellent gardener, he had two allotments and a large back garden - we were pretty much self sufficient in fruit and veg all my gowing-up years. He brought home a marrow one day, Mum hadn't ever cooked with one and didn't know where to start - but gamely she cracked on and (over!) stuffed it and put it in the oven to bake, but bake for too long and too hot and it went BANG! Dad and us kids laughed so much ;D Mum was not asmused at all - until later Wicked, I have laughed too ;D |
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Post by Cherry on Jan 31, 2011 17:34:58 GMT
My mother died when I was over here, but I would not go back for the funeral. I will only go to see the living. I did have a big input into it though, such as changing the service from C/E which she hated to Presbyterian, which she was. My sister did not know this, because we are all C/E. In those days, the children took the father's religion.
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