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Post by sweetpea on Feb 2, 2011 18:52:35 GMT
A young man and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town. They were about to have sex when the girl stopped.
"I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I'm actually a hooker and I charge £20 for sex." The man reluctantly paid her, and they did their thing.
After a cigarette, the man just sat in the driver's seat looking out the window. "Why aren't we going anywhere?" asked the girl.
"Well, I should have mentioned this before, but I'm actually a taxi driver, and the fare back to town is £25..."
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Post by Louise on Feb 4, 2011 8:59:28 GMT
;D ;D ;D ;D
That's brilliant !
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Post by (DahliaMan) Cornish Paul on May 8, 2011 13:55:47 GMT
Luv it  |
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Post by (DahliaMan) Cornish Paul on May 8, 2011 13:58:23 GMT
I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I'll tell you what ... Never again.'
I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
Deja Vu - When you think you're doing something you've done before, it's because God thought it was so funny, he had to rewind it for his friends.
Albinos - you can't say fairer than that.
Beware of Alphabet Grenades. If you throw them, it could spell disaster.
I got home and the phone was ringing. I picked it up and said: 'Who's speaking please?' And a voice said: 'You are.'
I bought one of those anti-bullying wristbands when they first came out. I say 'bought' - I actually stole it off a short, fat ginger kid.
I went to the video shop and asked the man if I could rent Batman Forever. He said no, only for 2 hours!
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.
Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?
Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
It's not the fall that kills you; it's the sudden stop at the end.
I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
A television can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
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Post by Louise on May 8, 2011 14:05:04 GMT
;D
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Post by Lou78W on May 8, 2011 15:24:58 GMT
;D and ;D
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Post by sweetpea on May 9, 2011 12:56:16 GMT
;D
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Post by floydie on May 9, 2011 23:21:21 GMT
LOL! ;D
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