Post by derekbrooks on Nov 26, 2016 21:31:26 GMT
I was looking for something in a drawer last night and I came across this which I cut out of a Technical college magazine over 60 years ago. However, you wont understand it unless you know a bit of chemistry.
CHEMICAL ANALYSIS OF A WOMAN
CHEMICAL SYMBOL Woo. Thought to be a member of the human family
ATOMIC WEIGHT Accepted at 120 although known isotopes vary from 100 to 180
PHYSICAL PROPERTIES Surface usually covered with a film of paint or oxide.
Boils at nothing and freezes without reason
Unpolished specimens tend to turn green in the presence of a highly polished one.
All varieties melt at the proper treatment.
Very bitter if used incorrectly
Density is not as great as generally supposed
Pure specimens usually assume a rosy tint when discovered in their natural state.
Exhibits magnetic qualities in the presence of noble metals.
CHEMICAL PROPERTIES Highly explosive and dangerous except in experienced hands.
Possesses affinity for gold, silver, platinum and precious stones.
Has the ability to absorb vast quantities of expensive food.
May explode spontaneously when left alone with man.
Undissolved by liquids , but activity greatly increased by saturation with a spirit solution.
Sometimes yields to pressure
Ages rapidly . Polymerises with age.
Sometimes used as a tracer in criminal investigations
USES Chiefly ornamental
Acts as positive or negative catalyst in the production of fevers.
Probably the most powerful (Bank account ) reducing agent known.
It is illegal in most countries to posess more than one specimen
A certain amount of exchange is permissible
CHEMICAL ANALYSIS OF A WOMAN
CHEMICAL SYMBOL Woo. Thought to be a member of the human family
ATOMIC WEIGHT Accepted at 120 although known isotopes vary from 100 to 180
PHYSICAL PROPERTIES Surface usually covered with a film of paint or oxide.
Boils at nothing and freezes without reason
Unpolished specimens tend to turn green in the presence of a highly polished one.
All varieties melt at the proper treatment.
Very bitter if used incorrectly
Density is not as great as generally supposed
Pure specimens usually assume a rosy tint when discovered in their natural state.
Exhibits magnetic qualities in the presence of noble metals.
CHEMICAL PROPERTIES Highly explosive and dangerous except in experienced hands.
Possesses affinity for gold, silver, platinum and precious stones.
Has the ability to absorb vast quantities of expensive food.
May explode spontaneously when left alone with man.
Undissolved by liquids , but activity greatly increased by saturation with a spirit solution.
Sometimes yields to pressure
Ages rapidly . Polymerises with age.
Sometimes used as a tracer in criminal investigations
USES Chiefly ornamental
Acts as positive or negative catalyst in the production of fevers.
Probably the most powerful (Bank account ) reducing agent known.
It is illegal in most countries to posess more than one specimen
A certain amount of exchange is permissible
