Post by sweetpea on May 30, 2011 15:05:50 GMT
You may have heard some of these before but still good.
Actual call centre conversations !!!!!
Customer: 'I've been ringing 0800 2100 for two days and can't
get through to enquiries, can you help?'.
Operator: 'Where did you get that number from, sir?'.
Customer: 'It was on the door to the Travel Centre'.
Operator: 'Sir, they are our opening hours'.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
--------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Samsung Electronics
Caller: 'Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?'
Operator: 'I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are
talking about'.
Caller: 'On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it
clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC
wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give
me the number for Jack?'
Operator: 'I think you mean the telephone point on the wall'.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
--------- ----
RAC Motoring Services
Caller: 'Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me
when I am travelling in Australia ?'
Operator: ' Doesn't the product name give you a clue?'
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
--------- ----
Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in
France ):
'If I register my car in France , do I have to change the steering
wheel to the other side of the car?'
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
--------- ----
Directory Enquiries
Caller: 'I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar
in Cardiff please'.
Operator: 'I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling
correct?'
Caller: 'Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish
Bar but the 'B' fell off'.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
--------- ----
Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
Operator: 'Woven? Are you sure?'
Caller: 'Yes. That's what it says on the label; Woven
in Scotland '.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
--------- ----
On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a
phone box told a worried operator:
'I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the
number on'..
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
--------- ----
Tech Support: 'I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop'.
Customer: 'OK'.
Tech Support: 'Did you get a pop-up menu?'.
Customer: 'No'.
Tech Support: 'OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?'
Customer: 'No'.
Tech Support: 'OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up
until this point?'.
Customer: 'Sure.. You told me to write 'click' and I
wrote 'click''.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
--------- ----
Tech Support: 'OK. In the bottom left hand side of the
screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?'
Customer: 'Wow. How can you see my screen from
there?'
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
--------- ----
Caller: 'I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just
realised that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks
will I have my file back again?'.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
--------- ---- ------------ --------- --------- --------- ----
There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things
in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not
fired. This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which
was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care
department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired;
however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization
for 'Termination without Cause'.
Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee.
(Now I know why they record these conversations! ):
Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'
Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with
WordPerfect.'
Operator: 'What sort of trouble??'
Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a
sudden the words went away.'
Operator: 'Went away?'
Caller: 'They disappeared.'
Operator: 'Hmm So what does your screen look like now?'
Caller: 'Nothing.'
Operator: 'Nothing??'
Caller: 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I
type.'
Operator: 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get
out??'
Caller: 'How do I tell?'
Operator: 'Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??'
Caller: 'What's a sea-prompt?'
Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the
screen?'
Caller: 'There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't
accept anything I type.'
Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator??'
Caller: 'What's a monitor?'
Operator: 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks
like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's
on??'
Caller: 'I don't know.'
Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and
find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??'
Caller: 'Yes, I think so.'
Operator: 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me
if it's plugged into the wall.
Caller: 'Yes, it is.'
Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you
notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not
just one??'
Caller: 'No.'
Operator: 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there
again and find the other cable...'
Caller: 'Okay, here it is.'
Operator: 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged
securely into the back of your computer.'
Caller: 'I can't reach.'
Operator: 'Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??'
Caller: 'No.'
Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something
and lean way over??'
Caller: 'Oh, it's not because I don't have the right
angle - it's because it's dark.'
Operator: 'Dark??'
Caller: 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only
light I have is coming in from the window.
' Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light then.'
Caller: 'I can't.'
Operator: 'No? Why not??'
Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.'
Operator: 'A power....... .. A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've
got it licked now.
Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your
computer came in??'
Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.'
Operator: 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and
pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to
the store you bought it from..'
Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?'
Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'
Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do
I tell them??'
Operator: 'Tell them you're too f --- ing stupid to own
a computer!!!! !'
Actual call centre conversations !!!!!
Customer: 'I've been ringing 0800 2100 for two days and can't
get through to enquiries, can you help?'.
Operator: 'Where did you get that number from, sir?'.
Customer: 'It was on the door to the Travel Centre'.
Operator: 'Sir, they are our opening hours'.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
--------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Samsung Electronics
Caller: 'Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?'
Operator: 'I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are
talking about'.
Caller: 'On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it
clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC
wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give
me the number for Jack?'
Operator: 'I think you mean the telephone point on the wall'.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
--------- ----
RAC Motoring Services
Caller: 'Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me
when I am travelling in Australia ?'
Operator: ' Doesn't the product name give you a clue?'
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
--------- ----
Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in
France ):
'If I register my car in France , do I have to change the steering
wheel to the other side of the car?'
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
--------- ----
Directory Enquiries
Caller: 'I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar
in Cardiff please'.
Operator: 'I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling
correct?'
Caller: 'Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish
Bar but the 'B' fell off'.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
--------- ----
Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
Operator: 'Woven? Are you sure?'
Caller: 'Yes. That's what it says on the label; Woven
in Scotland '.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
--------- ----
On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a
phone box told a worried operator:
'I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the
number on'..
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
--------- ----
Tech Support: 'I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop'.
Customer: 'OK'.
Tech Support: 'Did you get a pop-up menu?'.
Customer: 'No'.
Tech Support: 'OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?'
Customer: 'No'.
Tech Support: 'OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up
until this point?'.
Customer: 'Sure.. You told me to write 'click' and I
wrote 'click''.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
--------- ----
Tech Support: 'OK. In the bottom left hand side of the
screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?'
Customer: 'Wow. How can you see my screen from
there?'
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
--------- ----
Caller: 'I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just
realised that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks
will I have my file back again?'.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
--------- ---- ------------ --------- --------- --------- ----
There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things
in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not
fired. This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which
was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care
department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired;
however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization
for 'Termination without Cause'.
Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee.
(Now I know why they record these conversations! ):
Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'
Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with
WordPerfect.'
Operator: 'What sort of trouble??'
Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a
sudden the words went away.'
Operator: 'Went away?'
Caller: 'They disappeared.'
Operator: 'Hmm So what does your screen look like now?'
Caller: 'Nothing.'
Operator: 'Nothing??'
Caller: 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I
type.'
Operator: 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get
out??'
Caller: 'How do I tell?'
Operator: 'Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??'
Caller: 'What's a sea-prompt?'
Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the
screen?'
Caller: 'There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't
accept anything I type.'
Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator??'
Caller: 'What's a monitor?'
Operator: 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks
like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's
on??'
Caller: 'I don't know.'
Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and
find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??'
Caller: 'Yes, I think so.'
Operator: 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me
if it's plugged into the wall.
Caller: 'Yes, it is.'
Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you
notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not
just one??'
Caller: 'No.'
Operator: 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there
again and find the other cable...'
Caller: 'Okay, here it is.'
Operator: 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged
securely into the back of your computer.'
Caller: 'I can't reach.'
Operator: 'Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??'
Caller: 'No.'
Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something
and lean way over??'
Caller: 'Oh, it's not because I don't have the right
angle - it's because it's dark.'
Operator: 'Dark??'
Caller: 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only
light I have is coming in from the window.
' Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light then.'
Caller: 'I can't.'
Operator: 'No? Why not??'
Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.'
Operator: 'A power....... .. A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've
got it licked now.
Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your
computer came in??'
Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.'
Operator: 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and
pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to
the store you bought it from..'
Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?'
Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'
Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do
I tell them??'
Operator: 'Tell them you're too f --- ing stupid to own
a computer!!!! !'
.
