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Post by (DahliaMan) Cornish Paul on Jan 17, 2011 14:52:07 GMT
I have many many joke caption thingys and some are viewable here! Paul
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Post by (DahliaMan) Cornish Paul on Jan 17, 2011 14:58:51 GMT
LOL
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Post by (DahliaMan) Cornish Paul on Jan 17, 2011 15:00:55 GMT
LOL
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Post by (DahliaMan) Cornish Paul on Jan 17, 2011 15:01:49 GMT
LOL
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Post by Louise on Jan 17, 2011 15:12:58 GMT
They're good, Paul. notice how they're all American though ...... bit dim maybe, over there ?!
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Post by Geranium on Jan 17, 2011 15:16:10 GMT
They made me laugh, anyway! Thanks, Paul. ;D
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Post by sweetpea on Jan 23, 2011 0:02:39 GMT
No pic available but I remember a sign at Taronga Park Zoo in Sydney which read, 'WARNING Trespassers will be eaten.'
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Post by grindle on Jan 23, 2011 5:39:11 GMT
;D
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Post by merlin on Jan 23, 2011 8:56:10 GMT
;D Good one SP. I'm reminded of a sign in N. Wales. On a bad bend. It read CAUTION Free-range children.
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Post by Geranium on Jan 23, 2011 9:25:03 GMT
;D
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Post by sweetpea on Jan 23, 2011 14:43:32 GMT
;D Good one SP. I'm reminded of a sign in N. Wales. On a bad bend. It read CAUTION Free-range children. Ooer no thank you! I cant seem to get rid of the ones I've got.
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Post by floydie on Jan 25, 2011 20:02:12 GMT
Haha. One at my local garden center. "Warning slow children 5MPH"
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Post by (DahliaMan) Cornish Paul on Jan 26, 2011 20:23:23 GMT
Here are a few more jokes:
"I wanted to be a milkman, right - but I didn't have the bottle!!"
"I was taking the motorway out of London. A policeman pulled me over and said: 'Put it back'
"So I took my dog for a walk and it was really angry - well it would be, it's a cross breed!!"
"I saw a bargain the other day, a TV set for £1. Only problem was the volume control which was stuck on full. Come on, how can you turn that down?"
"Three cheers for rap music! Hip Hop Hooray!"
"So I went to Buckingham Palace to cut Prince William's hair. I said to the policeman, 'Can you let me in to the car park, I'm here to cut Prince William's hair?' The policeman said 'Have you got a permit?' - I said, 'No, just a bit off the back!!!!' "
"My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in."
"Velcro. What a rip-off!"
"The other day someone left a piece of plasticine in my dressing room. I didn't know what to make of it."
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Post by (DahliaMan) Cornish Paul on Jan 26, 2011 20:27:02 GMT
And more:
"I don't make jokes about the spanish.. No way Jose!"
"When I was at school people used to throw gold bars at me. I was the victim of bullion."
"So I went to the doctor and he said, 'You've got hypochondria.' I said, 'Not that as well!'"
"I used to live in a teapot. I know what you're thinking 'Pour You'"
"Advent Calenders, Their days are numbered."
"I slept like a log last night. I woke up in the fireplace!"
"I phoned the Football League and said I was interested in running a Sheffield based football team. They said, 'How flexible are you?' I said, 'I can't manage Wednesday.'"
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Post by (DahliaMan) Cornish Paul on Jan 26, 2011 20:29:12 GMT
And yet more:
"So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me "Can you give me a lift?" I said "Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.''
"You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice."
"So I went down my local ice-cream shop, and said 'I want to buy an ice-cream'. He said Hundreds & thousands?' I said 'We'll start with one.' He said 'Knickerbocker glory?' I said 'I do get a certain amount of freedom in these trousers, yes.'
When I left home, my mum said "Don't forget to write", I thought, "That's unlikely"... It's a basic skill isn't it....
"Exit signs - they're on the way out aren't they?." "
So I went to the dentist. He said "Say Aaah." I said "Why?" He said "My dog's died."
"Now, most dentist's chairs go up and down, don't they? The one I was in went back and forwards. I thought 'This is unusual'. And the dentist said to me 'DahliaMan', get out of the filing cabinet."
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